Bush The Comedian

I remember in what seemed like ages ago the Presidential Primaries were under way and I for one was not really excited about any of the candidates. Sure I liked Tom Tancredo but only because it was so exciting to watch him spin every one of his statements into a long winded diatribe on how illegal immigrants are the roots of all our problems. Though Tancredo was good for comedic effect I would really appreciate a candidate I could really stand behind and not be embarrassed to vote for.
On October 16th popular comedic pundit Stephen Colbert announced he was going to run for president on both the Democratic and Republican Party ticket. Finally a candidate I could firmly stand behind; someone that would protect America from bears which are soulless killing machines. Unfortunately it was not meant to be because Stephen did not want to pay the thirty five thousand dollar fee to run as a republican and the democrats refused to put him on the ballot. Even though he was only going to run in the South Carolina primary I was hoping it would be the springboard that would catapult him into the White House. What I failed to realize was that we all ready had a comedian in the White House.
For years I thought that George W. Bush was a joke as a president starting with that horrible Supreme Court decision, it just took the rest of America to get the joke. He will probably go down as one of the worst presidents we have ever had and a firmly believe that years from now he will replace Teddy Roosevelt in the presidential races at Washington Nationals games (it should be noted that Bush has a better approval rating than the Nats). What I failed to recognize is that Bush must see himself as some sort of comedian because it is the only thing that can explain this little punch line he peppered the Chinese Government with while he was Bangkok Thailand before he headed to China for the summer Olympics. Bush said the following “"America stands in firm opposition to China's detention of political dissidents, human rights advocates, and religious activists.”
I could not help but laugh out loud at this ridiculous statement. I can prove to you how laughable this statement is and all we have to do is look at one person. This person is Salim Hamdan and by examining his story we can see how utterly ridiculous Bush’s statements are and how he has no right to chastise another country on human rights even if they are a Communists Country.
Salim Ahmed Hamdan was captured during the invasion of Afghanistan shortly after 9/11 and was imprisoned at Guantanamo Bay. He admitted to being Osama bin Ladin’s personal bodyguard and chauffer and said he only worked in this capacity because he needed the paycheck. He was charged with conspiracy by the Department of Defense and would have a trail before a military tribunal on November 8th 2004.
Why this name might sound vaguely familiar is because he now has a Supreme Court case named after him that he actually won. In Hamden v Rumsfeld the Supreme Court ruled in a 5-3-plurality decision that the military commissions that were established lack "the power to proceed because its structures and procedures violate both the Uniform Code of Military Justice and the four Geneva Conventions signed in 1949.” Because of this ruling the Bush administration created and Congress passed the Military Commissions Act of 2006 that grants the President the necessary authority to create military commissions. Simply Bush uses the power of the executive branch to bypass the ruling the Supreme Court made because what the hell do they know?
In two separate rulings pm June 4th 2007 all charges were dropped against Hamdan because it was ruled that the man's Combatant Status Review Tribunals had merely confirmed the man's enemy combatants status; while the Military Commissions Act only gave the Guantanamo Military Commissions the authority to try "unlawful enemy combatants", they lacked the jurisdiction to try the men.
So it was decided to call him an illegal enemy combatant so they could have a military tribunal. His trail has finally ended and the military tribunal found him guilty of one charge, providing material support for terrorism. Before I continue I just want to let you know that if you are kidnapped by an organization that is recognized as a terrorists organization and you pay a ransom to get out you can be found guilty of providing material support for terrorism. What is sad about Hamdan’s situation is that it took seven years of abuses, human rights violations, coercive interrogations, and sexual humiliation and all they found him guilty of was material support of terrorism. Let us not get into how fair and impartial it is to have the jury made up of Military Officers.
I know what you are saying. This Hamdan character sounds like a bad guy and he quite possibly is. I don’t know because me and him we don’t meet at the Bungelow Thursday nights and bond over one-dollar domestic beers. I’m not trying to defend him but rather point out how fucking narrow minded and grossly inadequate our detention policy is. What is also sad is that there are other people in Guantonimo Bay being held who are facing the same obstacles Hamden has but they are probably innocent of any crimes relating to terrorism. According to an article from the Washington Post “A CIA analyst warned the Bush administration in 2002 that up to a third of the detainees at Guantanamo Bay may have been imprisoned by mistake, but White House officials ignored the finding and insisted that all were "enemy combatants" subject to indefinite incarceration, this according to a new book critical of the administration's terrorism policies.”
According to the same article when this was brought to the attention of one of Cheney’s top aides he said, “"The president has determined that they are ALL enemy combatants. We are not going to revisit it." So look at all the bullshit that Hamden had to go through and apply it to one of the individuals at the prison who is probably innocent and has never had any involvement with a terrorist organization. That is why I find Bush’s statement about the Chinese government’s detainment policies so funny. Granted Bush’s statement was criticizing China’s imprisonment of “political dissidents, human rights advocates, and religious activists,” but it seems that we are holding some innocent people in prison who aren’t even a citizen of this country and their only crime was being a certain religion and ethnicity at the wrong place at the wrong time, so where the hell does the Bush administration get off.
I really wish that instead of all the bullshit and fear mongering that we could just have a regular trail for those in Gitmo. To me it seems that the team Bush seems to be stacking the deck anyway against these “enemy combatants” just so they can get their convictions so they can justify the extreme measures they employ to fight this war on terror like warrant less wiretapping and all the bullshit that was thrown into the Patriot Act. Now if Bush wants to criticize the Chinese government on their lack of their political leaders taking a vacation and cutting down trees on their ranch in tight jeans I would understand but criticizing how other countries detain their citizens is a joke. It is a rather lame joke if you ask me, one that reeks of the lazy and fragmented writing I would expect to see on an episode of Friends.
The Bush administration also broke the cardinal rule when it comes to comedy; always leave the audience wanting more. You have to know when to go out on top. Even before the jury ruled on the Hamdan trail Pentagon spokesperson Geoff Morrell decided to put the cart before the horse. Morrell had this to say: “Even if he were acquitted of the charges that are before him, he would still be considered an enemy combatant and therefore would continue to be subject to continued detention. Of course, that said, he would also have the opportunity to go before the administrative review board and they could determine whether he is a suitable candidate for release or transfer. But in the near term, at least, we would consider him an enemy combatant and still a danger and would likely still be detained for some period of time thereafter.”
Even if he was found not guilty he would still be locked up and Bush still thinks he can criticize other countries. What a fucking joke but I think it would be funnier if the rest of the world were laughing with us instead of laughing at us.